Project Don’t Judge.

I have no sense of priorities, do I? When I have an abundance of free time on my hands, I waste it listening to music I am bored of and complaining of boredom. I have a mountain of work to do tonight (yes, on a friday night. My social life is PUMPIN’!) and instead I am sitting here quite determined to get my thoughts onto my blog.

“Don’t judge.”

I tell my mother this a lot. In fact all of my theories and ideologies are told to my mother, and being the Supermummy that she is she listens patiently and nods in the right places and is always careful to remember what I don’t agree with in the world.


Here she is in this photo – she’s the pretty one.

But ‘don’t judge’ is by far the most common phrase I say to her. We’ll see someone dressed a certain way and she’ll make a passing comment about it and there will be a part of me that agrees with her but I will go ‘Ma, don’t judge,’. I do this to remind myself as much as it is to remind her.

I’m always insisting that people have lives we cannot begin to fathom, and our thoughts show in our actions, always – and if we’re thinking it, we’re subconsciously spreading that judgement and putting it out there.

Today more than ever we are faced with so much judgement and hate. Just earlier I saw a picture of a girl in a minidress holding a drink (obviously partying) with the caption “Girls be like/ My kids are my life’. It got my blood boiling. So once you have children, you aren’t considered a good parent (nope, wait – you aren’t a good mother) unless you are wearing sweats, no makeup and are picking up after your kids 24/7? How do you know what a mother out spending the day away from her kids is thinking? Just because she is away from her babies, does not mean she isn’t thinking of them, wondering if the babysitter is doing a good job, wondering if she should leave early.

What that picture did was judge. That is what we all do. Judge judge judge. I am just as guilty of this. I see people in puffer jackets in 23 degree weather – and internally chastise them. Why do we judge?

In a perfect world, this blog post would reach lots of people and we’d change the world and there would be no more judging, but this is no perfect world. It is hardly even a satisfactory/ halfway decent world. This is a world where people comment ‘Your a fag’ on a youtube video about someone talking about the difficulties of coming out. This is a world that sees a person breaking as normal, even common.

When did it become okay to be cruel?  Did we collectively make a conscious decision to just find something wrong with people and for it to be acceptable to point it out? It sure feels like it. 

Today I want to make a change, starting with myself. To try at all times to think good, and do good. No one is perfect, and we are all well aware of how imperfect we are.

Most people aren’t aware of all the lovely things that they are, and so I will try, every day, to remind them of their good. Because we all spend more than enough time stressing over the bad, and that needs to stop.

I’m calling it Project Don’t Judge. If I can brighten at least one person’s day, just a little  (even if it’s just sending positive thoughts in their direction)… Here’s hoping.



  1. Just Me, The Mrs · April 4, 2014

    I am in awe that a young girl like you can write with so much passion and depth. Yes, as humans, that’s what we do – we judge, whether we know it or not, we do it. Every single moment. I shall blog about this soon and link your page – let’s spread the word and I must admit, I have to start with myself.

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